HOME

Specialist of news & comments

I am writing a piece on 10 things not to say to people who have been diagnosed with a life threatening illness/cancer along with 10 things TO say

I am writing a piece on 10 things not to say to people who have been diagnosed with a life threatening illness/cancer along with 10 things TO say...because I believe in solutions along with change.
If you or anyone you know has input and would be willing to share, I would love additional thoughts and feelings on this subject. In gratitude. ?
09/03/2018
28 Comment:
Jeffory Joseph Schiebel
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
How about later writing about things to say. I would want people to say that they would miss me.
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Yes, I'm writing both. ?
Wendy Elizabeth
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Katie Wise Edick I feel like you could meaningfully contribute to this...
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Thank you. ?❤️
Wendy Elizabeth
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Michelle Stacy Rademacher always
Sheree Fields Moore
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Tell them you love them!
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
I shared this with a friend but thought perhaps this would be a good clarification...Larry is the one who asked me to do this, so I'm trying to honor him. One of the things he definitively says no one should ever say is:We're all going to die. We just feel there are basic things not to say and want to try and help, so that the time people do have together is spent not on arguing or saying things that hurts but rather on the important stuff like, I love you. I care about you...etc. ?
Heidi Schlaff
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
When there are no words just being there; being present with them and sharing the moments of the day/night is very important.
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
So, so important. ?
Kary Kruger
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
"This product will cure you". Instead say, “Have you checked out..." along with scientifically validated evidence.
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Omg so much yes!! ?
Kary Kruger
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Secondly, "Hey, I am here for you any time to listen and praying for your unspoken needs to be met. I can't imagine how hard this is but I love you and I'm sending good vibes, thoughts and prayers."
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Awesome! This is what they need to hear and have done for them for sure! Thank you.?
Katie Wise Edick
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
I just wrote a blog about this..."You could get hit by a bus." This trivalizes my condition and make me close myself off. Another is "you got this" statements. This implies that if I am positive and happy then the cancer or chronic condition will go away. However if it doesn't go away or if I have progression then it lays a sense of shame and guilt on me because clearly I am not happy or positive enough to "Beat It." That is a huge responsibility for a person dealing with a chronic illness to always have to feel happy because Society tells us that is how we're going to beat it. Another is griefing. We all grieve for someone when they are chronically ill or have a terminal illness and everybody needs somebody that they can vent to. However, if you are the person that does NOT have the chronic illness you do not vent your grief, anxiety and stress about the situation to the person who IS actually dealing with it. You need to find your people to help you cope with what's going on so that you are a source of support for the person who actually has the chronic illness It is exhausting it is exhausting to build everybody else up, to make them feel better about what you're going through. Of course the quack cures are a no, no or the story telling about another person with same or similar condition...especially if that person died...... so what are the things that you SHOULD do? check on them, send them cards or positive thoughts, text email ect. Offer to go with them to appointments or scans, just sit with them, just listen to them and not necessarily have to offer up advice, bring meals, clean their house. If they have children take their kids out to a movie so they could get some quiet time if that's needed. A lot of times when you're dealing with a chronic illness or a terminal illness people ask you or say just let me know what you need and life is so overwhelming it's really hard to verbalize what we need or we're not good at asking for it. Sometimes it is nice if you just take the initiative and know when somebody has an infusion and stop by with a cup of coffee. Tell them you love them and show up. I could go on and on. Don't hesitate to IM me if you want to talk more about the subject.
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
I don't know you, but I know I love you Katie. Thank you, all of this is pure truth. ??❤️
Katie Wise Edick
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Your welcome! I hope it is helpful!!!
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
Katie Wise Edick it is, especially because it's not from me. Combined, our voices are so much stronger. In gratitude for your sharing and wisdom.
Tanya Dandurand
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
One of the things hospice gave me was a paper called the four gifts. -tell them thank you for (some great memory)-I’m sorry about_____-I love you______-goodbye. Even though this was at the end for my mom I think without the goodbye part it’s good grounds for what would be good to say.
Beth Bunny Berry
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
This is not your fault. Being debilitated physically has made me explore the entire gamut of human emotions, but the one that still just sticks with me is guilt. Guilt that I didn’t take enough care of myself. Guilt that I burden my family with financial and household responsibilities. Secret, hidden, unrelenting guilt. Guilt that I can’t “cure” myself. Of course my frontal cortex knows it’s not my fault, but wow, when Basil hugs me, and says, “Oh, baby, this is not your fault. Let me help you.” the weight of the world lifts from my shoulders.
Michelle Stacy Rademacher
08-03-2018, 01:05:44
I love you Beth, we are all doing the best we can I feel, I love you and am here for you, always. ?

Send review

Your name *

Email *

Your comment *